Improve your English conversation skills

Conversing in English takes practice

People trying to improve their American English conversation skills face a common obstacle. This obstacle is that we all prefer to hang out with people who are like us, look like us, speak like us, talk about the same things, are interested in the same things, share the same history and culture, etc. If English is not your first language, then you are less likely to find yourself among English speaking people. Even if a group of non-native speakers all want to practice and improve their English, they usually wind up speaking in their native languages, even while living and working in the U.S. Many of my adult students work for high-tech Silicon Valley companies, which employ many foreign workers. Instead of mixing together and developing their English skills through practice, each nationality forms its own closed circle. The saying we have is, "birds of a feather flock together."

This is true in neighborhoods as well. Near my home we have Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Indian, and Persian neighborhoods, each with their own stores and restaurants. In these small areas, even all the store signs are in a foreign language, sometimes without English sub-title. Many people choose to live in a neighborhood surrounded by their countrymen, their own familiar stores and products, and customary social behaviors. Human nature causes us all stay inside our "comfort zones." This is a low risk strategy because everything is familiar.

Living in a foreign country to learn the local language is called "full immersion" because you jump right in over your head into the new language. This strategy is considered very effective or maybe even the best method. However, if you come to the U.S. but live and work around people from your home country, you will not learn much English. Full immersion means ALWAYS speaking English to everyone, not just once or twice a week in class or with your tutor.

If you live outside the U.S., your opportunities to practice with native English speakers are much fewer of course. But, you can seek out chances to use your English to interact with native speakers through social, work, and educational networks. Just watching TV and movies is not as effective because you are only listening, not speaking. Using Skype to practice speaking with native speakers is much more helpful because you talk as well as listen. 

Going outside your comfort zone always feels uncomfortable and risky, but self-development of every kind requires new behavior before you can learn new things. You have to become comfortable both starting and responding to verbal interactions. Start with something easy, and exchange a few words with the checker at the supermarket in English. Or, while shopping in a store, talk to the salesperson-- they are paid to be nice to you.

The best way to start a conversation is to ask a question, which is usually very trivial or unimportant. One sample question is "What do you think of this weather?" Maybe you don't really care what they think, but it allows a conversation to start. Asking someone for their opinion or help is practically guaranteed to start a conversation. Good conversations consist of questions and answers. After the other person answers, they might repeat the question back at you, asking your opinion. If the other person merely answers but does not offer another question, it's your job to simply ask them another question! This can be a follow on question, such as "Do you think the weather is warmer than last year?" or "What is your favorite weather, warm or cool, sunny or rainy?"

The content of your words is not important or significant. In fact, social chatting avoids controversial subjects like politics and religion, and sticks to generalities, like "How are you today?" Even if you think you English is pretty bad, you can easily master simple questions and answers like these. No doubt in your native language, social chatting is similar. English is the same way, but you have to jump in the water and splash around before you can swim. Let yourself make mistakes. Ask native speakers to help correct your accent or explain words you don't understand. As already mentioned, people love to help and offer their opinion if you give them a chance. But if you don't say "hi" they may help someone else. 

Since you are the one who wants to learn, you have to put yourself out there. You have to go outside your comfort zone. Take a class that is only conducted in English. Try out a hobby like painting where you will many native speakers. Outside the U.S. choices are more limited, so you have to use your imagination more, or look for Internet chatting opportunities.